I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
