Already got asked if we're dating
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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