real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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