No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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