And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
