The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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