i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize