You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
