I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
