remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
