Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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