I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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