I feel great
I just peed on a car
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We just shotgunned beers for America
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
