I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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