here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
