it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
