I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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