Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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