I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize