Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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