i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This house was built for laser tag.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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