Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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