hotel room ftw
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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