You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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