so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
