Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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