you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
