nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
