I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
