He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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