Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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