that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
