I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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