Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize