Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
two words: eviction party
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
