Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
