When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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