I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
