Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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