Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
