I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
