I intend to get homeless drunk
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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