just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
