Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
