That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She's JV to your varsity
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
