i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
