Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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