capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
