Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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