I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She needs sedatives and a leash
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
