is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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