it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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