He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
