3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Your cock deserves a montage
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I got inside last night via doggy door
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize