the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
