She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
