I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
