I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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