I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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