Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
