so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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