Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
