She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
