Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
